Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

I'm way too tired to do the post I promised.  I was unable to eat most anything today.   I forced a small - and I mean, small - and smaller piece of cake down midday and I forced some Ramen down early in the morning.  Other than that and some chocolate, pretty much, no go.   (And I mean, like, one of those really tiny ones that you get in the grab bags.   Not like a whole bar!)

Still, highlights of the con: 

My mom called my Bee backpack ugly earlier.   Readerconners loved it!  I even said I made a Beeline for Chizine, and Brett made a 'you made a Bumblebee line for it,' joke, and I was like, Chizine gets more awesome by the second.   This is, of course, after they called me a special customer - also known as the girl who buys everything they put out - and was given an even more special deal on their sale at the end when they try to get rid of books so they don't have more than a luggage full to drag back to Canada!   (They are a Canadian press, and not only that, one of the most awesome presses out there.)  I can't tell you how much I love Chizine.   ♥  If any of you see this, I'm so happy for your successes so far.   I did try to return the favor by recommending Chasing the Dragon by Nicholas Kaufmann (if you're reading this, I practiced pronouncing your name, so I should have that nailed by the time I see you again!)

I came out to three or four people.  In public.   It was pretty epic because I confessed that my friends have said they don't understand but they don't accept it, and I laugh because I don't understand it.  I'm wired this way, I accept it, good and bad, but I don't understand.   It was really scary, to be honest, but also so, so very freeing!   And everyone who I talked to was so very understanding.   Thank you all, although you'll probably never see this.  I felt so, so very accepted, and it's quite frankly scarier saying that to a person's face.   I love you all so very much for accepting me as I am.   (Online friends, real life friends, everyone.   If my friends here hadn't been so accepting I wouldn't have been able to say it out loud to people I'd just met.   I'm blown away by the bravery, to be frank, but I credit it all to my friends on BL.   You were brave enough to take me at face value, and I can't take credit for whatever courage that gave me! ♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥)

Donating blood.   Always a highlight.   John Hodges, who coordinates this, knows me by name as a reliable donor.  I'm always shocked: with all the people who he deals with, all the people who donate blood to him, he remembers me.   It's mind-blowing to me, because I only go to one con, and it's this.   He is just a lovely person, and made sure I was taken care of when I felt ill right after donating this year.   

The Shirley Jackson awards.  I go every year.   And every year it's a highlight.   And to Nathan, I told you so.   I told you you'd win.

Giving a couple books away.   This is a bittersweet highlight: the gentlemen said he was worried about triggers, but he really appreciated the thought.   I told him I hoped he stopped if it made him uncomfortable, and that it was a gift: if he trashed it, burnt it, or gave it away, it wouldn't offend me so not to worry about that.   He also said there was no reason to apologize.   I sincerely hope he's not too bothered by the book!   If he is, I will find some way to make it up to him if I ever hear of this. I did get a hug from the woman running that booth, and he gave me a little dance for thanks - his co-worker said I might get one, and I did!  She was so touched by the gift, and I, almost crying, told her how much her coming to see to me made me feel safe and taken care of, so I was glad to do  that for her.   (I also told her I was glad to see her reading the book later as I passed by, and that I hoped she was enjoying it.   So far, so good!)

Gemma Files.   Read from Experimental Film.   There's backstory here: she said she was writing this a while ago, and I told her, I wasn't sure based on the description I'd seen somewhere, but I was so entranced when she spoke about it.   I didn't even e-mail her, though, figuring it would come when it did - or it wouldn't.   Either way, I was glad to have heard her speaking about it.   But it looks like it's getting closer.   I remember her talking about how personal it was, and that it was one reason it was taking her so long to write.   But there's something even more... just more about how personal it is.   The fairy tale she came up with was especially chilling, and just added to how moving the bits we got were.   I am very much looking forward to this, although I can say with certainty that I would rather wait till this is ready.   The time, the effort, she put into it so far was well worth the effort.   It's worth a little longer of a wait based on what she read.  I did tell her I was psyched to see her reading from it earlier, and I was even happier when she was done with the reading.   Gemma, if you're reading this, I can't tell you how much I appreciate seeing you grow as a writer.   You're amazing, you've always been super sweet at the cons, and every bit of fame and praise you get is well, well deserved. 

Max Gladstone's reading.   This one is more difficult.   The writing was beautiful, but it wasn't something I was waiting for, as opposed to Gemma's.   Usually I can pinpoint what it is about the reading that I adore - but I can't.   Max has a very soothing voice, but it's not just that.   There was a combination of that, of the writing quality itself, and of something just out of reach, something almost definable, that left me incredibly moved - enough to say that this was one of the highlights.   (And to anyone who thinks this is creepy, Max doesn't.  I saw him, and said so, and said that I was looking forward to seeing him again as I'm going out of my way to another one of his signings.   After I said I was looking forward to hearing him talk again, I paused, and mentioned that maybe me saying I understood that was slightly creepy might make that better, right?   He laughed, and said he didn't find it creepy at all.   He seemed touched that I'd try to define the undefinable about what moved me so much I almost wept at home before sleeping yesterday night.   Yes, I admitted to that, and not understanding why, and he was amazing, and said that he understood and that it was hard to say those things out loud.   Partly because I was like aaaawkward!)  Okay, long ramble, but... Max is awesome.   

Transformers planning.  Four TF shirts.   Thursday evening was the Decepticon logo, Friday was Optimus Prime - which I planned so that Kaufmann would see that first thing! - Saturday was my yellow/G1 Bee shirt, and today was my Revenge of the Fallen Bayverse shirt.   I also got a question about Optimus Prime being Orion Pax earlier due to the shirt, and an ogle - at the shirt, not anything else.   It was my G1 Bee shirt, and the gentleman excused himself, and said he was trying to figure out if the shirt was older or not.   I said, no, from Hot Topics.   Still, I feel like the shirt effort was worthwhile. 

Getting recognized.   By authors, by people who ran the con suite, by John, by Chizine, by... a lot of people.  I go up and talk to people. I get enthusiastic.  It feels good that people did remember me, although, again, I'm always surpsied.   Pleasantly surprised. 

Books: 

I always pile them into books I got signed, books I bought but didn't get signed, and books I got for free - there's a table for ARCs/freebies, and there was a book donaters got, too.   So anyone who gave blood got a book.   The freebie pile is always dwarfed.   And I have a new pile this year - signed to give away!

I arguably got too many or too few books.   I'm always telling myself that it's too many, but want more, when Readercon ends!  

Anyway, I'm going to make myself dinner.   If you have any questions, or whatever, just lemme know.   Here or in PM.   I would love to meet any of you at Readercon next year if you choose to go :D 

Oh, by the way, I spoke to Jackson Bennett and his agent was next to him.  I have her card, and am going to e-mail her, and remind her to keep an eye out for potential printing issues, and if she can, she's going to get me a signed, pristine copy of American Elsewhere.   Yay!