Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

"There must be a course at asshole school that teaches a man how to hit a woman because that slap hurt like shit."

I don't know where to start with what's wrong with this sentence, so I won't. 

The next sentence is: 

"I hit him with the door and ran like hell."

Which sounds like she lifted the door and hit him with it, which I'm pretty sure didn't actually happen!

"I take him into my hand and steering him inside."

I love how it's super obvious you edited this. 

"He begins to drive into me with the power and the speed of jackhammer."

This sounds both plausible and pleasurable. 

"I like the feelings Charlie is giving me; but they frighten me, as well."

Surprisingly, not the most useless sentence I've ever read. 

And the reason why I won't be picking up the sequel?  The shoddy writing continues with this sentence from the excerpt: 

"My hands shake so hard I'm afraid to pick up the coffee someone has given me to try and quiet my nerves."

Because caffeine is known as the most calming drink ever.   Yes, caffeine=calmness.  -_-