Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

This one seemed to get worse at it got along.   It waved bye-bye to grammar and didn't look back.   Come, look, see...   right beyond the page break. 

"It's not just body parts that can be fossilized; the activities of dinosaurs can be seen."   For once, my issue isn't the semi-colon use.   Rather, this sentence is awkward.   Extremely awkward.   You state something else can be fossilized, but only imply that it's the 'activities of the dinosaurs'.   I get what you're trying to say, but there's a much better way to say this: "While the body parts of the dinosaurs were fossilized, they can tell us much more than how large they were, or what they looked like.   From the fossils, paleontologists can deduce how the dinosaurs lived, and what their activities were."   Much clearer, but it kinda says the same thing, or what you were probably trying to say.

"The dinosaurs ate a large variety of food; the carnivores ate other dinosaurs and creatures whist the smaller ones ate bugs."   First of all, whilst is odd in a kids book.   Secondly, this is just awkward once again.   "The dinosaurs ate a large variety of food; the carnivores ate other creatures, while the smaller ones ate bugs."    Also, not true.   Smaller carnivores maybe, but you imply the 'smaller ones' are not carnivores.  I assume you meant the larger carnivores ate other creatures, including dinosaurs, while the smaller carnivores ate bugs, especially since you go on to explain herbivores and omnivores next.   

"What was their body like?"   Cringe.   The thing is, most of the book wasn't this bad.   What were their bodies like perhaps?   The dinosaurs didn't all have one body, or even one body type, after all.   You certainly can't clump them together, then tell me that carnivores had one aspect that herbivores didn't.   They don't all have the same body type, then, do they?  

"Communicating with moos, roars, snarls, and honks; as well as other noises this is how scientists believed they spoke to each other."   What the hell?   It's like the rules of grammar no longer apply...

"250-200 million years ago in the Triassic period the land was all pushed together which is called Pangaea.   It was very hot and dry just like what the desert is today."    Nope.   Just no to these two sentences.