Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

Oh, Real, I can't decide what I hate most about you.   The crappy grammar?   The unbelievable scenarios?   The way I imagine everyone peeing on each other to mark them, due to the creepy animal fetish you seem to have and the way everyone scents each other instead of smelling each other?   

No, no.   It's the crappy research and the way you threw together symptoms that were convenient for you and slapped on the term 'bipolar'.   Fugue states so extreme he doesn't remember anything when he's 'black', eyes changing colors,  manic states that tend to be more 'hulk' angry than anything, and not doing most of the stuff most common to manic states.   Oddly enough, she actually did do some research - bipolar being a different gene expression is how she describes it, and I talked to a friend of mine who practices psychiatry.   This is apparently hotly debated in the psychiatric community, but it is an actual theory.   Color me surprised.   I'll complain about this in more detail under the link where I completely spoil this book.   

So, Remington's parents are, no doubt, shitty parents.   They dump him in an asylum when he's thirteen, and have no interest in him until he has money he can give them.  However, they're demonized for putting him in the asylum, when he clearly has need of help.  Even out, even having a career and shitloads of money, he has two keepers so they can take every other day off.   They watch him, and when he goes 'black', or gets 'speedy', they sedate him.   They also act like it was horrific to give him medication, but he clearly needs it.   Bipolar disorder, especially when it does affect his life, yeah, he kinda needs it.   Therapy is good and all, but not a substitute.   And he doesn't get any therapy.  I buy that everyone believes he's okay, but I also believe every single character is deluded.   His parents were right to get him help; it's hard to get a person into an asylum, and the fact that he tried to get all the patients to rebel and leave?   Disturbs me.  His parents were the only ones who tried to get him treatment, and they're made out to be the most awful people ever for this, which disturbs me even more.   It's some kind of weird anti-ableism, but also a very destructive attitude towards mental illness.   I'm so disappointed and hate this book so much for that.

Here, have some quotes to see how bad the writing is: 

"...both men equal in heigh and weight, both extremely muscled as they pound each other's facesin."   Um, yeah, it sounds like they're only extremely muscled when they're pounding each other.

"I'm going to murder my best friend without mercy.   And then myself..."  Without mercy is redundant, and then you commit suicide.   Oh, god, I wish you'd done this to the characters instead of writing this whole book.

"But my poor, dear Melanie has a new man-crush."   Your poor, dear Melanie is hiding something in her pants if she's got a man-crush.

"...participating in these "private" and very "dangerous" underground club fighting games..."   The quotation marks indicate that the games aren't private, although they are meant to seem that way.   True.  They don't want the authorities to know, but they do want fans to know, about these games.   They are in fact "private" in that way.  But why is dangerous in quotation marks?   Why is very not in quotation marks?   

"The fighters tonight apparently don't wear boxing gloves, and I see his fingers flex and fist at his sides..."    I'd ask if you really can't tell if he's wearing gloves, but apparently you can.   Apparently is redundant. 

"He has black hair, standing up sexily as if women have just had their fingers there."   I'm sure there wasn't a less awkward way to phrase this.   

"My sex clenches tight, and I hate that he seems to knowit."   I hate that you don't seem to get that the space key needs to be hit between every single word.   Also, that you used the phrase 'my sex clenches'.   

"...he seems to believe every woman here is his Eve, created from his ribcage for him to enjoy."   I don't believe you ever heard this story told correctly.   It's rib.   And it's creepy - kind of like everyone there is his daughter/creation.   And he wants to fuck them all.   

"I'm both aroused and infuriated and this is the most confusing feeling I've ever felt in mylife."   I'm impressed by your math.   One plus one indicates the need for a plural tense.   

""You little slut, Mel!""  I cry when I recover, shoving her playfully.   "Why did you have to scream like that?   He thinks I'm the nutcase now.""  I'm just going to list my issues with this: slut shaming, and ableism plus slut shaming combined. 

"Oh my god, he had.   Had he?  He did."  Why?   For the love of Primus, why?   

"I'm totally going to torture Melanie because she deserves it, the little tramp."   Your poor, dear Melanie is somehow where you direct all your slut shaming. 

"...bounces on his calves..."   I'm assuming he has no feet to bounce on, although later, he's wearing shoes, and doing feet stuff, so clearly he does.  

"...those awful cracking sounds filling me with goose bumps."   I don't think you know what goose bumps are. 

"...my nipples strain...pushing anxiously against the silk of the fabric."   Is Anxious Nipple Disorder a new thing I missed?

"I'm left with the distinct impression this man wants to pound me next.   With his cock."   Is this supposed to be sexy?

""Parker the 'Terror'Drake!""   I'm having space issues.   

"A warm hand engulf min, and the touch frissons through me..."   No, just no on frissons.

"...his damp hand slides into the nape of my neck."   Ow.   Call Ratchet.    

I lost some of this review.   And I'll come back to edit later.   I'll finish the other half of this book if you guys want.