Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

The writing is just as shitty as in Eve's other books. Same issues with the shitty formatting - I like my paragraph indents. They're there for an actual purpose - and same issues with Eve not learning how to use a damn comma and/or period. Fuck. Lazy writing like this pisses me off.

Not to mention the actual prose. Yawn. God, it's like someone did their best to make this all sound as boring as possible. Skimmed my way through three or so pages then gave up. And by gave up I mean went into a boredom coma.

103: "For example a business man raise funds for a refuge and a sports coach can lead by example when working with young men." From the forward, which wasn't written by Eve. She choose a dude who doesn't know his tenses for this shit.

129: "...my life a constant web of lets down and lies..." Let downs?

136: "Bruises, cuts, and broken bones hurt like hell and there have been many times I genuinely feared for my life but for me the emotional abuse was the worst and 'his' words will haunt me forever no matter how hard I try to fight them." Clearly you know how to use punctuation so have no need of an editor.

141: "I guess I will always shudder when I hear the word 'ugly' and the amount of times I heard 'I'm too good for you, bet you thought you won the lottery' are countless but I am trying." It's like she pout three sentences in a blender, drank that crap and vomited onto the page.

144: "I AM GOOD ENOUGH IN FACT I AM AWESOME!" Too awesome for commas? So awesome you have to scream it at us?

160: "My abuser tried over the years to stop me from writing but I had a secret, Amy and I was determined he wouldn't find her, she was special she was going to help me one day to realize my dream to help others and so I made sure I covered my tracks with short stories, many of which he either deleted or burnt and a creative writing course with the Open Course but he never found her, never found my secret hiding place where I stowed my memory stick." Is there a period and comma shortage I'm not aware of? Why is this shit so drawn out and boring if it doesn't need an editor? 

173: "What began as an angry rant at EL James, the author of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy after she made hurtful comments which insulted and offended victims and survivors everywhere has no become a vehicle to highlight domestic violence/abuse; a tool that I can only hope puts DV firmly in the spotlight." Clearly you understand the use of both commas and semicolons. Good on you.

177: "...E L James..." EL or E L? And this is why you need an editor.

200: "Women throughout the world have taken Christian Grey into their hearts, these women are unable to see the abuse and even though the original mission of this book has changed I still hope that these women see that the character E L James created is an abuser and that Fifty Shades of Grey is NOT a love story but a tale of domestic violence and abuse." Primus, use punctuation. 

211: "...there are something's I will never speak about." This is why you NEED an editor.

267: "'You better be fucking kidding, get rid.'" Why does this sentence not actually end?

273: "I range the police..." But didn't look up the definition of range, apparently.

286: "When I was in the early stages of pregnancy they found that I had placenta praevia this unfortunately ... accertaand with the full team of doctors in the operating theatre, various attempts to save my womb and life not to mention 25 units of blood they performed an emergency hysterectomy." I forgot to transcribe a couple words. By they didn't make this sentence any more grammatically correct and going back to find the two or three words means that I would have to think about all the ways this sentence is structurally fucked which is a depressing thought.

299: "Every three hours the alarm would bleep to let me know I was time for another feed to stop hypothermia setting in, I was exhausted and thanked God that Sophie was such an easy little girl, give her a pan and spoon and she would spend hours banging, give her a toy mind you and she would spend hours trying to pull it apart to see how it worked." For the love of Primus, learn how to use grammar properly!

394: "It was horrible and I cried a lot especially when I was mocked for being a victim of domestic violence but after spending a couple days wih my head down I decieded I would NOT let them win, these women were as bad as my ex husband in my eyes and there was no way I was being a victim again for anyone and I'm glad I didn't hide away as I've always done because then this marvelous book that helped fifty survivors, yes it's helped me so much too and is going to hopefully raise amounts if money for the charities that have been nominated by these brave men and women would not be here." Christ on a bike. One comma and one exclamtion point. This kind of abuse of the English language makes me want to stab something.

446: "He told me it all started in the office as a laugh, most of the women were reading Fifty and asked him if his girl was reading it when he replied no they scoffed and told him to go buy a copy because the sex he would get would be unbelievable." Surprise, surprise. An illiterate author is unable to pick a literate story. The abuse of the language is just as bad as when Eve writes. So I'm going to say the same thing. Primus, learn to use grammar!

450: "He was all smiles as he walked through the door and into the kitchen, I loved it when he came up behind me and grabbed me around the waist twirling me in his arms until our lips met, he would kiss my cheeks, eyelids and neck whispering how much he had missed me whilst he'd been at work and how much he loved me." Use fucking punctuation.

I'll be donating straight to Planned Parenthood instead of purchasing this book. I don't trust a charity backing a product this shoddy; I'd force myself to read this dreck if I bought it. I'd rather read something that had something other than boring prose and crappy grammar.