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allhailgrimlock

Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

I'm a well read grad student who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.   

Currently reading

Jurassic Park
Micheal Crichton
Progress: 141/480pages
All New Fathom Vol. 5
John Ercek, Erick Arciniega, Mark Roslan, Alex Konat, Beth Sotelo, David Wohl
Pocket Apocalypse
Seanan McGuire
Progress: 54%
Apex Magazine Issue 99
Allison Mills, Rebecca Roanhorse, Pamela Rentz, Mari Kurisato, Raymond Sturgis, Jason Sizemore, Daniel Heath Justice
Provenance
Ann Leckie
Progress: 148/432pages
Transformers Robots in Disguise: Where Crown City Comes to Life
Caroline Rowlands
Progress: 3/32pages
Avengers: Absolute Vision - Book Two (Avengers (1963-1996))
Brian Garvey, Jimmy Akin, Roger Stern, Steve Ditko, Carmine Infantino, Al Milgrom, Prentice Hall
Progress: 98/360pages
Deadpool Classic Vol. 20: Ultimate Deadpool
Kelly Doudna, Mark Bagley, Brian Michael Bendis
Altered Carbon
Richard K. Morgan
Progress: 67/516pages
Batman (2016-) #40
Stephen King, Jordie Bellaire, Joëlle Jones

I don't know, you guys

Jumping Barrel (Cyborg Sizzle Book 7) - Cynthia Sax

This is the kind of thing that I both love and hate.  Like some of this was eye rolling worthy, and some of it was like, 'alright, i got ya, I like it.'   I disliked it as much as I liked, and I did so equally.   Not like I liked half, but so much more than the rest.   So two and a half stars, I guess. 

 

The world building wasn't good enough for this to be a stand alone, and even some of that made me raise my eyebrow.   Like the whole cybernetics allowing them to really only breed with one female.   How do they know?   How does Barrel know when the only thing he does is talk to her and see her over a screen?  I'd assume the whole breeding thing would be genetics, and as a cyborg, he might be able to scan her in some way - but over a screen?

 

I do have a thing for how much Barrel loves Nola.   (But some of the names.   Like Barrel?   Why?)

 

"His Nola would breed with him, would eventually grow to love him."

 

The 'breed with her then she'll slowly fall in love with him' makes no sense.  Keep in mind, the cyborgs in this tend to use breeding instead of fucking or sexing her up.   Or whatever you want to call it.  

 

I mean, if she doesn't like fucking you the first time, will she really agree to do it over and over again until she loves you?

 

Shouldn't you try to win her over before you fuck her?

 

"A huge knife was rucked in the waistband of his ass covering."

 

I'm not quite sure if that should read as pocked in the back of his jeans, or if he has a special piece of clothing called an 'ass covering.'

 

"A leather strap slipped between her lips, muffling her question.   The male had gagged her."

 

First of all, I wanted to bash something when they called each other the male and the female.   Just why?

 

Secondly, he's gong to fuck her, then she'll 'eventually' fall in love with her, but first he'll start off with a non-consensual gagging.   I was like 'OH SHIT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN HERE?????'

 

Nothing like what I was thinking, but yeah, I don't care if he says it's a precaution or not, the fact that he doesn't want me screaming doesn't equal love.   It equals a good, hard kick in the balls. 

 

"She's been on her own since she had four solar cycles."

 

I'm not sure if 'solar cycles' is years or not?

 

"He tasted like metal and male..."

 

Keep going, please!

 

"...her rapidly expanding hair."

 

 

"Barrel slid his shaft along her folds, breeding without entry."

 

...

 

That just sounds wrong.  I mean, I know what he's doing, but breeding might not be the word you want there. 

 

"She was hot, slick, snug, her inner walls hugging his tip, her purely female fragrance surrounding him."

I find this ridiculously not hot.   Am I the only one?

 

"He licked every droplet within reach, tasting salt and aroused female."

 

...

 

Show, don't tell.   Aroused female gives me nothing.   Is that in her sweat, so not her other bodily fluids?   Because other than that, how would you tell what aroused female tastes like?   This is part of the lazy world building, though.   Really, a microcosm of that. 

 

"...her curves absorbing the race of his breeding, a buffer of softness, of caring."

 

The next time someone tells me I've gotten fat, or look pregnant, I'm going to gently chide them with 'that's just a bugger of softness, of caring.'

 

"His essence made contact with her flesh and she screamed, her form convulsing under his, her pussy squeezing his shaft harder."

 

Man, I almost laughed out loud so many times, but then I"d have to explain why and I didn't want to read this thing aloud. 

 

So, yeah, not a great book - at all.