Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

My sister handed me that first book, saying she wants it back.   I want to keep it.  I may splurge on it as a paper back book.   Barnes and Noble doesn't have it, so Amazon may be getting my business for this.

I flipped through this book and went, 'oh, shit, is this just punching Hitler in the face?'

To which my sister gleefully responded, 'yes, yes, it is.'   Of course, I was more gleeful about it.   Keep in mind, one half of my family was almost nearly wiped out by Hitler, and thus my sister and I believe that, say, punching nazis in the face is okay.   (I was worried, because she's a better person than I am, but her belief is also that they spout genocide and thus seeing Richard Spencer punched in the face to music is a thing of beauty.)

I want a copy of this book, dammit.   I do.   It's twenty bucks, though, and I can always borrow my sister's book for now.   (She let me have first read so this will be the priority this weekend.   It's mostly covers about comics set in WW2.   And, no, not all of the covers are punching Hitler, or nazis, in the face centric, but there are enough to make me go swoon-y over this.)

I saw Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud for the first time today about the rise of outspoken women, women who don't conform to the perception of what they should be.   Too gross, too pregnant, too queer, and I believe too rude are also plastered across the cover, although not part of the title.  

I was pretty much absent yesterday doing emotional wellbeing recovery things.   Watching Netflix - oddly enough, 13 Reasons Why calmed me down, and I now want to read the book which I hear is way better, playing games, just trying to breathe and not have a panic attack.   Thus I am still just as behind on reviews, and got very little reading done.   When I was present, I was sullen and withdrawn.  I think the whole buying a bathing suit didn't help: it reminds me of my body, makes me more present in my body, and it's not about being too fat.   It's about no matter how skinny I was, it's still meat, and I find organic life... um... too gross.   I've been reeling from doing this yesterday.  I've been too freaked out by water for a decade to take a bath - something I've managed to do recently, so progress - so I haven't had to go shopping for suits.   So that's ten years of not having to go through this grueling process that is an exercise in hatred of my body, futility, nihilism and not being able to find a comfortable top that fucking supports boobs. I already had a bottom and I have a rash guard shirt - UPF, made for the water - so I'll wear that.   Contemplating getting swim pants, but, ugh, expensive, and I want to see if I can make it. 

If anyone has suggestions, much appreciated.   Right now, I'm thinking a skirt wrap thing, and seeing if I can go in the water with that.   Although I might just go in the bikini and see what happens.   After all, I want to start swimming again - I used to love it! - and this will acclimate me.   I also have free access to the pool at school, yay, so I should get used to showing off my fat, gross body.   Maybe this book will help me cope with that, though. Or maybe not.   Someone suggested parading around in the bottoms until then, just to get used to it, and I'm thinking that might be best!  I've been walking a lot, and I want to swim, not to get slimmer so much as to feel healthier.   

Anyway, explanation of my going away yesterday.   I'm going to a friend's house to watch TV, although I'll try to get some comic reading in while he changes DVDs/under covers if it gets too boring.   Prolly not since we're hopefully watching more of The Maxx.  I will try to catch up on reviews in the next couple days, although I may wait until the weekend and flood you with like twenty or thirty reviews.   I know, right, cringe.  I'll try not to do that for you.   Little nervous today, but much better.   (Getting my oil changed because I remembered I needed it and panicked helped, and the guys at the place are go to are fucking amazing.)  

I don't have time to post the pic right now, but I've acquired a Black Bolt funko.   Yass.   I will most definitely post one of him and DD and some special guys all at once in a post in the future.   Hopefully tonight as a reward for getting through reviews, maybe tomorrow as a reward for getting through reviews.   Because I'll get to play with my guys!   (Yeah, yeah, I tend to focus on guys.   It's an attraction thing.   I'm not cutting women out of the equation, but I skew towards guys, mostly because I like 'em violent, and dumb, and well... tends to be guys.   Y'know what?   I just skew towards them.   Throw me some Virginia - Vision is not her last name - or some Arcee or Windblade or Nautica, and I'll bite, but I skew towards dudes.)