Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

This is going to be long.   A lot has happened, and a lot of it makes me, I think, look bad when I judged this character so harshly.  I do explain why it was easy for mer to do that, but I still feel duped.  That's never an easy thing to admit, or to face, and so I've been hiding.

But oh, boy, am I glad I grabbed every issue except one - Newbury didn't have one - and got one from Marvel as a digital comic.   I had a revelation, and I'm going to explain it in great detail.  I also have a platonic/character love affair with Wanda now.   Which is mind boggling and confusing me so part of me wants to get all defensive and say 'deal with it.'   But, y'know, I don't have to explain why I fall in and out of love with characters.   Still, that's important to my review, and I want to talk about my new fake character assexual love interest.

It happened somewhere between reading the junior novelization scene in which Vision does things for her, and her talking candidly to him, and me reading old school Marvel and then this review of Scarlet Witch #5.  I don't know why I was compelled to read that, and I clearly remember scoffing.   Instead I was entranced by the author's conviction, and steady arguments that Wanda wasn't a complete monster.   It was what was done to her, which is an argument my sister - who loves the Scarlet Witch* - used on me multiple times. 

Part of this is timing.  I've ben pining for a Vision pairing and looking back at Scarlet Witch when she first dated, and even married Vision, she is a different character.   Reading what becomes of her, my stomach always twisted: I knew what was coming.   Reading this review, and thinking back, my review twisted for different reasons.   Oh, sister-of-mine, I apologize.   Heartily.   You were right.   So much so that I stopped in the middle of writing this to text her and tell her so.   

But, seriously, guys, that review is wonderful.   I don't know if it had spoilers; each time I think about it, I'm dazzled by the epiphany that I was wrong.  I think about the author talking about how compassionate Wanda is - and I remember reading other articles that call her lively  - and I'm slightly embarrassed by all the slights I made against her.   No, not slightly.   Greatly.  

She was wronged, and more so by the writers than me.   Troy complains about DC, about how it's gotten grittier, and that's taken the characters away from their origins and their spirit.   I've always understood, and been sympathetic, but you can never feel that sting as sharply as when it's been about a world you've invested in, can it?   Marvel is my big payoff and my big investment.   True, I didn't have that personal investment in Wanda, and that's part of why it was so easy to hate her for who she was twisted into: I read her mostly after the shit had hit the fan.   It was easy to read the earlier issues and not put together how wrong the storylines were, those same ones that turned her into a monster. I saw the monster before I saw the gracious, lively, and compassionate woman, or the child she'd been.   Before I saw her strength and fear and happiness; her hopes and dreams, and her life and what made her a hero. 

That all fell by the wayside.   But I read this review, and I thought about what I read about her, or even that bit in the movie.   (The movie still hurts and feel unnecessarily violent, but I've also come to realize that my perspective is still skewed.   And I have legitimate fears: Wanda would have never done that at this period in her relationship with Vision in the comics, and so I wonder if they're moving faster in the movies - and I worry that they're moving faster towards the imploding part of their relationship.)   And suddenly everything felt tilted, like I was having bookish vertigo.   I suddenly realized I was experiencing what Troy was talking about, except that I'd never given this poor character a chance before condemning her. 

And a sense of guilt consumed me.  Sometimes books feel more real than real life, and my embarrassment at my condemnation of Wanda was unbearably painful to me.   She'd been fighting this kind of persecution her whole life, this kind of misunderstanding her whole life, and had I learned nothing from the Avengers, particularly Vision?   It was time to give her a chance, and I would vote with my wallet - and choose to vote with a large chunk of money and a great deal of hope in my heart.   After all, I can tolerate Wanda alone more than with Vision in the current comics.   Not all of the sting has gone away with the understanding of what was done to her; I'm still protective of Vision and I still think her meddling in his love life recently was a great disservice to him, especially knowing what's coming.   Or is trying to come.   Or might come.   (Damn you, blurbs of not yet released comics.   You do nothing for my nerves sometimes.)   I still blame her, because she meant well, but did something horrible.   But I used to see something like that and feel this seething hate and resentment.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a ghost of that, but it's tempered by knowing she had good intentions.   It's tempered by seeing her as she was originally meant to be, all kindness and generosity despite the horrors she'd lived through.   I only feel this sense of dread, and I flinch when I think of Wanda if or when she hears about this: she'll blame herself, too, no doubt.   There's nothing but suffering for everyone involved to come from her actions.  

Speaking of which, this is how the comic starts.   Robinson, to his credit, has chosen to confront this head on: Wanda thinks about the mistakes and missteps she's made almost from the start.   They're there, they pervade this whole comic, and her new mission to save both Witchcraft and herself.   She's on a mission of redemption.   She's older, and wiser, and at her lowest points, maybe a little beat down by what she's been through already.   But she pulls herself together, confronts what she must, and tries to cleanse herself of those past mistakes and missteps.   (And, as she acknowledges, some mental instability.)

There's a darkness to this comic, and it's not all visual.  I don't want to say that Wanda's more cynical; she's not.   She just can't help but a be a little darker given her past history.   Given that she's now isolated herself in a populous city, and feels that she needs to find redemption both alone and amongst people.   (Alone as in no close by allies, no teammates, but amongst people who are strangers, just to clarify.)   She's hopeful, but I don't feel her girlish enthusiasm or her liveliness so much anymore, and that's a grief.  I was just getting to realize what she was, and her potential, and it's already gone.   I missed it when it was happening - much of it printed before I was born - and I feel saddened that it will never come back.   I keep realizing that there's more to this, and how I feel about Scarlet Witch, the more I think about it.   I've done a lot of thinking the past couple of days, and clearly I haven't worked out and processed exactly how I feel about her yet. 

I have a feeling Witchcraft going bad is tied to the Last Days of Magic storyline going on in Doctor Strange.  It wouldn't make sense not to tie into that, but either way, Witchcraft is being attacked.   Wanda sees it as her personal mission to find out who's fucking with Witchcraft and stop them.   It's not only her mission, I think.   It's her redemption.   Not to long ago, I would have laughed at almost anything that caused her pain.   It's so, so strange to say this - and mean it - but I hope she finds the redemption and peace she's looking for. 

Man, these past few days have been weird, confusing, and are tiring me out.   I'm trying to grapple with Wanda to figure this out, mostly for myself.   To find my own peace with who she is right now.   So we're both on the same general mission, which kinda makes me love her more. 

Oh, yeah, definitely, there will no more gloating over things going sideways for Wanda.   I do kinda wish she were still dating V, now.   Is sad all that bullshit happened and tore them apart.   No, I'm not just sad.   I'm devastated and heartbroken, and I'm gonna go read me some more of this series to try and cheer me up.

PS: have one of my favorite panels from this issue: 

I love how she snarks back at the stereotypes.

*If only because Wanda gave birth to twins, whose souls later got reincarnated into one half of her favorite duo.   Wiccan is dating Hulkling, which is nothing new for Marvel; they've had a gay superhero in Northstar for much longer than Wiccan existed.