Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

I really, really do.   I've really connected with Lorn's stories: they're well written, creepy and I've always loved them.   Come is the first one I've felt downright 'ugh' about.   I do consider E. a friend, but I also think I'm a good enough friend that I won't blow smoke up his ass.   I'm not going to tell him I enjoyed something when I didn't, and I'm not going to lie to other people who might buy this book, or spend time reading it, just because I'm his friend. 

I didn't have any connect with this.  I found the narrator not only unlikable and despicable, but I just didn't really understand him at all.   His life revolved around masterbating.    That's it.   And doing disgusting things with his come.   

And if this evolved at all, or his relationship with people evolved, I might not have outright hated this story.   I wasn't quite as disgusted as I thought I should be; this story seemed to be going for shock, but since the narrator seemed ambivalent about his relationships - with people at work, with his sister, with everyone - it was hard to feel shock.   He liked being gross.   That doesn't really make a character for me, though. 

I think what really shocked me was that I didn't quite expect this from E.   Not because of the subject matter but because of the lack of anchor in this story: it was a dude doing gross things solo.   No real story arc, no real character development, no nothing.   At the end, my immediate reaction was, 'that's it?   What was the point?"  

I read this yesterday and probably forgot to write the review until now because I just didn't like the story.   And I really wanted to.  I went into this wanting to,  because E is not only a fantastic guy, but he's a great writer who I think is sharpening his skills and in the process of becoming an excellent writer.  I can see his progress in his writing.  I could see where it clicked to me, and where I was like, 'E is good, but he did something truly, truly special here.'   I could see a flip switch,  and see all that potential as he wrote a piece that showed a mastery that I just hadn't seen before.  

I truly believe that he deserves to be traditionally published, and not just for the facts that he's awesome and an awesome writer.   He's more than that: he's dedicated to his craft, and he works at getting it right and polished for the reader.   

Why do I point this out?   Because a one star for him isn't something that I just picked up.   It's not some Reaganasuarus bullshit that I expect to be bad.  I go in with high expectations and I gave him the benefit of the doubt to the end.   I'm a little sorry I did in this case, but I also figure that if anyone isn't into someone talking about how much they masterbate, maybe stay away from this story?   Because it quite honestly only gets grosser.   And as E points out as a forward and I paraphrase, this is a gross dude doing gross things, but it's not a horror story.   

I almost one-half starred this.   But the editing is pretty amazing, and the writing is fantastic from a technical point of view.   And I've given worse stories higher ratings for the feels.   I just didn't feel right one-half starring, and when I waffled, I realized it was because of the strength of the writing itself.  No problem with that.   Narrative WTFuckery and the ending where I went, 'okay, I was totally hoping for more,' were what I had a problem with, so...

I would have liked that more, to be honest.  I found this to be more stomach turning than any horror, but I have a really strong stomach when it comes to gore.   Less so when it comes to gross dudes doing gross sex things.  

Pass the brain bleach, please?  Or at least another Lorn story that isn't this hot mess

PS - I debated curbing the bluntness, but again, I consider myself a friend of E.   He can choose to dump me after this, but I think it's only fair to treat this as any other product.   And I did.