Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

See, I didn't sign up for that.  I thought I was reading something about vengeance.   Trust me, all of Marvel, I didn't pick up someone who sold his soul to get a fiery skull for a head to watch him go Buddha on some punk's ass and take a beating.   No, really, surprisingly, I didn't.   

This has about everything you never wanted to see in a Ghost Rider comic, all conveniently packed into one mini-series. 

Ghost Rider's alter ego in a cubicle?   Check. 

Actual talk about accounting and holding down a steady job?   Check. 

Ghost Rider's alter ego arguing with his girlfriend about something any couple would argue about, probably to make him relatable?   Check. 

Hell, Ghost Rider's alter ego in a steady relationship?   Check. 

Ghost Rider literally not fighting back?   Check. 

Ghost Rider's alter ego being whiny about having the Ghost Rider, yet still struggling with the rush he gets from the Ghost Rider?   Check. 

Safety tips about driving?   Check.   (Okay, so it's a vague 'drive safely', but still.)

Ghost Rider's alter ego riding bitch and a hot chick driving him around because he, and once again I find I must stress this is the literal reason this happens, can't find his bike?   Check. 

It's like someone went, 'guys, guys, I know this is working, but what if we put him in a job?   No, no, guys, I know, but I mean, like, an accounting job?   And he goes home to a woman every night, and he really, really doesn't want to Ghost Rider things?   But he kinda does.'   

Because, seriously, the most fun I had was imaging the dude selling this to Marvel and how uncomfortable that could be.   I then convince myself that he simply wouldn't leave so the people in charge told this dude yes so he'd get the fuck out of their office.  

Or something.   Of course, as this progressed, the fantasies tended to end with swarming fans, howling and drooling, and tearing apart the offices. 

Unlike Ghost Rider, people fought back.   (< --  This mini-series deserves so much more shaming.   It was so bad.   So, so bad.)

On the other hand, this makes the stupid angel storyline look good in comparison.   Congratulations, stupid angel storyline.   You weren't as stupid and bad and boring as this.   Pretty low bar, but you beat it anyway.