Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

One of the things I was like 'eee' about was that it portrayed Alyssa as strong in both body and spirit.   But apparently it's okay for Jack to lie and manipulate her.   The problems come at the end, too.   

Because up until the shocking ending, Jack was all like aware that Alyssa could beat him down - even as Shadowman.   He took healthy steps back when she turned his glare to him.   She was badass and although he was aware she could turn that badassery on him, he still respected her, and was even attracted to her.  Not despite her physical strength, but in part because of it.   And I was all into a guy who wasn't intimidated by someone whom he thought of as superior in a fight, even when he had a nigh-invincible loa riding him.  

But first: 

"'Let's get started, then Spider Lady.'"

Well, I brought my bodyguards with me, k?

(< -- nothing to do with the story, just a really amusing moment as I realized TFA reference!)

So, Alyssa gets ridden by a loa, who at first calls herself Joan.   (Because she first rode Joan d'Arc, so I'm calling her Joan because French pride!)   She seems to be somewhat aware of what's happening to her - which is why I was surprised to find her shocked to find out she'd been possessed later.   She fights Joan.   She doesn't want to go underwater, although they have to, because if they don't figure this out by morning, Shadowman leaves Jack and Joan takes over Alyssa forever!   Time limit, guys, and Joan's still really in control so she and Jack drag Alyssa through the water, and face her worst nightmare, which was, by the way, being raped by her uncle, and tortured - burnt with his cigarettes - when she resisted.   

This is what Jack thinks: "He'd learned more about her while she was possessed and unconscious than he'd known when she was awake and deflecting his questions and concerns as fast as she deflected his clumsy punches while they sparred."

I had sinking feeling when I read this - which was, by the way, after I wrote my first update.   She'd been raped, and he'd found out about her when she was unconscious (although also still fighting the loa, and going into the water, so inconsistency much?)   I'm not at all identifying Jack with Alyssa's uncle, both getting what they want when she can't resist.   And here's where it gets murky: Alyssa didn't know about the trap from the loa and didn't want the loa inside of her.   (Another type of rape by another person - a woman who was bound by men and who wanted to free woman.   By, apparently, forcing her on the women.   SO MANY MIXED MESSAGES!)

Jack couldn't not see the images of Alyssa cowering in fear, while her uncle said that she couldn't get pregnant and it wouldn't hurt.   (Because we, as readers, would presumably not get it unless he mentioned the pregnancy.)

Still, when Joan argues that she can help Alyssa get her revenge, Jack comes to Alyssa's defense: "'And she can get her own revenge.'  He squeezed Alyssa's hand, gave her the best smile he could manage.  'Only if she wants it, on her own terms.   She's already powerful.'"

Well, he gets less like the uncle, the actual rapist.   (She gets raped, mind body and soul in this, which is just... yeah, great, a trifecta there.   Congrats, author, because I've never felt quite so sick.)   He confirms that he respects Alyssa, he isn't trying to make her cower.   He respects her agency and wants her to get that agency back.   I got a little less squicked out, sure that Jack would actually respect her wishes, and let her decide what to do about her uncle.   To make sure he respected her wishes, he'd have to ask her, which meant telling her about what he saw.

"'I was possessed?'"

This line is important.   Alyssa was not in control of herself, and despite fighting, she wasn't really aware of what was going on once she got rid of the loa.   This indicates that she can't remember what she saw again, and what Jack saw for the first time about her and her uncle.   

"'You don't have to hide your scars, Alyssa.'"  

This is where Jack could have redeemed himself, and come clean.   Instead, this happens.

"'Everyone carries scars.   Some of them are on the surface, and some are deeper down. You can hide them, but you can't erase them.  They're a part of you forever.   But they make you who you are.   You live through horrible things and you get tough.   And that's nothing to hide.'

Alyssa jerked away and crossed her arms.   'Huh.   The uncharted depths of Jack Boniface.   When did you get all deep?'

He glanced back at the loa's bones.   'When I had to.'  He held out his hand.  'Let's go.'"

His answer was wrong.   Because it wasn't 'when I saw what you went through.'  Not only that, it gets even creepier.   Remember how she's been raped, both her body by her uncle, her mind when Jack sees her memories without her consent, and her soul when the loa rides her?   Now, let's connect the dots: her uncle manipulates her in many ways, by telling her it won't hurt this time, that he won't hurt her - more, really - by burning her if she does as he says, and with his greater body mass, and the fact that he's an adult.   Jack manipulates her by not telling her the truth, and allowing his knowledge of her rape - which he saw when she was described as 'unconscious' - to impress her by giving this big speech about her trauma.   What in the actual fuck?   No, seriously, did I misread that, because that, there, is seriously messed up.   And not only that, the uncle is portrayed as pure evil, the loa is evil although at the hands of men and even women who betrayed her, and Jack is presented as heroic.  

Except what he did was, arguably, just as fucked up as Alyssa's uncle, even if in a completely different way.   

And what does Jack do about the uncle?   Kills him.   To be fair, the Shadowman is a loa who, like, thrives on revenge.   But still, this happens.

"But it wasn't enough to quiet either of them."

"'That's for Alyssa.'"

"'You sure it ain't for you, hoss?'

'It's for all of us.'"

"'How many girls did he hurt, Jaunty?   No way he just used Alyssa and went back to being a kind uncle and good neighbor.'

'Numbers don't matter so much, hoss.'

'What matters is that it's over.'"

Really now?   You are suck a fucking jackass, Jack.   Let's review why this isn't over.  Joan told you so, told you that Alyssa lives with this fear and horror every day.   But not only that, to be over, you would have to tell her about her uncle.   To do that, you'd have to tell her how you about her uncle.   If you were going to do so, you would have already, right?   Because revenge was her choice, right?   

So, you took that choice and agency from her, and then act as if it's all over, even while knowing it will never be for her.   I just can't even think about this twisted logic, because I will start fucking crying.   I really, really will. 

Not only that, you are sharing your deep thoughts about her trauma with a fucking monkey in a top hat who also knows about her rape, without her knowledge.   But not with her.   I just can't even.  

I just can't.