6 Autobots
allhailgrimlock

Grimlock ♥ Ultra Magnus

I'm a well read grad student who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.   

Currently reading

Separate Orbits
Yael Mermelstein
Progress: 119/427pages
BATMAN #53 ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
LeeWeeksBatman53, TomKingBatman53
BATMAN #54 ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
MattWagnerBatman54, TomKingBatman54
BATMAN #52 ((DC REBIRTH)) ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
LeeWeeksBatman52, TomKingBatman52
BATMAN #51 ((DC REBIRTH)) ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
LeeWeeksBatman51, TomKingBatman51
Infinity Wars: Iron Hammer (2018) #1 (of 2)
Al Ewing, Humberto Ramos
Champions (2019-) #4
Jim Zub, Jacinto Benavente
SUICIDE SQUAD #46 ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
JosLuisSS46, RobWilliamsSS46
SUICIDE SQUAD #45 ((SINK ATLANTIS)) ((DC REBIRTH )) ((Regular Cover)) - DC Comics - 2018 - 1st Printing
JosLuisSuicideSquad45, RobWilliamsSuicideSquad45
Champions (2019-) #3
Jim Zub, Jacinto Benavente

So bad... come see...

Abducted by the Kraken - Tammy Black

This is going to be a GIF laden review, so page break and then it'll come. 

 

He was amazingly sexy, and he exuded an aura around him that just gravitated every lady, including me.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 14). . Kindle Edition.

 

I don't think the author knows what gravitated means. 

 

Just looking at him with those hot ladies, made my clit ache, despite how my jealousy.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 20). . Kindle Edition.

 

I feel like this sentence just kinda ended in the middle of.

 

So I sent him a text message soon after, and I waited. Time passed slowly, my hands are shaking, and I’m biting my lip.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 30-31). . Kindle Edition.

 

 

Because clearly this is going to stay in one tense.   But, no, it switches back and forth constantly. 

 

“Hello, sorry I had to leave on short notice. I had something urgent to take care of. By the way, I’m having a party on my yacht if you want to swing by.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 33-34). . Kindle Edition.

 

I had been invited by a man who I had just met to a large party on his private yacht. It’s populated with movie stars, rich men , hot guys, and more.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 36-37). . Kindle Edition.

 

Wait... where does he say this?   I mean, yeah, he said he had connections, but he never said they'd be at the party.   And she's all like, oh, it's tomorrow.   Um, no, it made it sound like he was partying right now.   Where is she getting all the details that just happen to be right?

 

 

I had been slaving working at the clubs and bars in Beverly Hills, trying to network as much as I can, trying to break into the elusive society of the rich and famous.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 38-39). . Kindle Edition.

 

You're doing it wrong, then.   That's not where you network - at your club/bar jobs where you depend on tips.  

 

Perhaps I’d be signed with a modeling agency, star in a movie, or even a porno! At worst, it would end in hot sex at least.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 40-41). . Kindle Edition.

 

How is a porn movie better than an actual movie?

 

 

And seeing as this is a yacht party, I went into my closet and picked out a bikini set. It took me a while to decide, but I finally settled on a nice silver colored bikini and thong. Of course I felt awkward putting on the bikini,

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 66-67). . Kindle Edition.

 

If she feels so awkward putting on bikinis, why does she have more than one?   Why does she think a porno would be a good idea if the mere thought of putting on a bikini is awkward?   Because the characters, as well as the tenses, are inconsistent throughout this short. 

 

My heart had sank upon looking at him. Just looking at his piercing blue eyes, short blonde hair, and his chiseled jaw gave me butterflies.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 74). . Kindle Edition.

 

 

Memories of the movie I had seen the night before came rushing back, and my sex started to growl.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 82). . Kindle Edition.

 

That's right.  Her vajayjay growled. 

 

beautiful women oozing with their silicon breasts,

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 86). . Kindle Edition.

 

Does anyone see the silicon oozing?   Anyone else, that is?

 

There were buckets placed throughout the ship, all of them filled with high-end brand name condoms.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 89-90). . Kindle Edition.

 

such a high-end party.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 91-92). . Kindle Edition.

 

I've never been to those high-end yacht parties, but I'm pretty sure it's skeevy if there are buckets full'o'condoms. 

 

 

“Hello, you must be Emily. Slick told me all about you,” the main said in his golden voice.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Locations 99-100). . Kindle Edition.

 

This is why you need editors. 

 

Everything was blurring, and my conscious couldn’t hold on much longer.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 148). . Kindle Edition.

 

Because words that sound kinda similar are the same, amiright?

 

I wanted him to fuck me forcefully than ever, even if I couldn’t handle it.

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 154). . Kindle Edition.

 

Me Grimlock no need all words sentence!   You know what Me Grimlock mean anyway. 

 

The tentacles bent my arms being my back,

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 165). . Kindle Edition.

 

You're not even trying to get it right now!

 

Also...

 

 

For the first time, I had popped my anal cherry,

Black, Tammy (2014-02-01). Abducted by the Kraken (Tentacles, Monster Sex) (Kindle Location 201). . Kindle Edition.

 

As opposed to the second or third time?

 

What's wrong with this book?  In short, everything.   It was short and hilarious because it was so bad, but not really worth my time in the end.  On the other hand, I feel like I wasted more time at the Robocop reboot this morning, so congrats.   This was less shitty than the other shitty thing I did today.