I'm a well read technosexual who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.
So, yesterday, I come home from work and I see two strips of bacon on the table. I should have known my sister and father were running a social experiment on me, because they both love bacon as much as I do. They wouldn't leave two strips of bacon untouched!
Except they had. So I figured my dad had made it and was saving them for later, so I eye the bacon, but don't eat it. Like ten minutes later, my sister gives out an exasperated, 'the bacon is for you!'
Within thirty seconds, it's all gone. Yummy, yummy bacon. So later on my dad comes home, as he'd been out at a class at the temple with my mom. He looks at the table and goes, 'where's the bacon?' And I point to my open mouth. And with a smirk, he asks, 'how long after you came home was the bacon gone?'
And I'm like, well, that's really weird, but I'm prone to honesty, so I'm like, 'like ten minutes. Sister said it was for me!' A little defensively because he's smirking and I'm really confused now. He turns to her, and goes, 'you ruined the experiment.' Which is when he told me the whole story. He'd made six slices, two for him, two for my sister, two for my mom. Mom didn't want any, so they were like, 'should we eat it?' He knew my sister would be home when I got home, and he wouldn't be, so he decided to test me and see how long it would take me to notice, and then eat, the bacon. He was pretty shocked that it wasn't thirty seconds. I told him I'd figured he'd want it later, so I was saving it for him. It also turns out that my sister gave me about a minute. So then he's like, 'but you saw it, right?' And I was like, 'as soon as I came in.'
Proving: everyone thinks I'm a selfish asshole when it comes to bacon, but I'm a lot nicer than they think I am. And I really love bacon. My dad is an MIT graduate, with a very scientific mind. My sister is into sociology. Meaning I should be prepared for shit like this, but I'm not.
Also, I can never trust unattended bacon now. Anyways, I'm still laughing. So, uh, who else has family who would do this? And would you eat the bacon immediately or save it for someone you love?