I'm a well read grad student who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.
And you're still trying not to cry in public. In front of people who will mock you for it, no less. The way Bendis kills off Spider-Man? It gets to the heart of his character: he will go to any lengths to protect those he loves. He feels the full weight of his responsibility, although this comic starts off with Captain America telling him he's aloof, he's not aware of the consequences of his actions, and he's far too flippant to be a superhero.
The truth is that Peter's way of coping has always been humor. A witty line thrown out at an enemy or a seemingly inappropriate moment are what gets him through the day. Seeing as the guilt over his Uncle Ben's death could be crippling, cracking a couple jokes seems like a rather harmless way of coping to get through the stress of being a teenager - and a superhero to boot.
Does he fight with stupid, egotistical bravado as if he's invulnerable? Well, yeah, kinda, but he's a teenager. Danvers, Thor and Iron Man are correct. Parker needs guidance, and the fact that he was tapped for superhero training makes sense. All the other heroes are far older, have more experience (life experience as well as battlefield experience), and probably do have a more stable way of figuring things out. But for a teenager working alone, Parker was doing pretty well for himself. At one point, Aunt May berates herself for leaving a little boy to fight a fight no little boy should have to fight.
He's a boy. And while everything that Captain America says is pretty much true, what he seems to forget is that Parker's also a hero. Tested, yes, but also immature and just coming into his own. He didn't need to be benched. He needed that guidance. He needed to work with others until he did get that sense of gravitas that Captain America was saying that Parker lacked.
Unfortunately, he was so close, and he got it in the end. His own mortality came crashing down on him and he got it all in that one last sentiment to Aunt May.
And now I'm crying again. This is a story about humanity at it's best, even when people misread it as being unworthy.
I'll miss you, Ultimate!Parker.