I'm a well read technosexual who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.
"She turned and ran, ducking behind Croc.
'Please?' she said, her eyes wide and truly frightened.
''Stay behind me,' he growled.
Croc grabbed the EA closest to him and hit it with his fist."
"Yet every time Lawton thought about putting his guns down and becoming normal - whatever the hell that meant - he'd convince himself yet again he was doing this for her. He knew it was a lie, but it was a lie he could live with."
So... I might have a terrible, terrible character crush now. I feel like everyone is judging me, but, oh, it's just me judging myself again.
"'Faster,' Croc added. 'Much faster.' Harley Quinn was at his side. 'What do you want, girl?' he asked.
'You'll protect me, right, dollface?' she said hopefully. She fluttered her eyes and smiled at him. He stared down at her for another few seconds then, without a word, he walked away."
So this is a four page work, short poems and not that many of them cobbled together to create... I want say 'book' or 'art' but that feels so demeaning to both books and art. Not because of length. A talented writer -of prose, non-fiction, or poetry - can do a lot with four pages. I could gladly pay a dollar and not feel ripped off.
This, though. This. Unedited - or least not edited well enough - combined with how boring, redundant, trite, redundant, out of character and just bad this was, and well... Nope, the impression I get is you could give this author 400 pages and they would just run around in circles like they did in four.
I've mentioned that I don't particularly like people using fandoms to create something this unkempt and then charging for it. I actually despise this practice. It's not the length of the work that makes this feel like a scam so much as they used a franchise in the media now, made the poems just vague enough that it doesn't feel like it even hints at Joker or Harley and then puts it up with an image that evokes that fandom.
No, thank you! I 'bought' this book to see if something would finally live up to the fandom. Sadly, it's just another person who doesn't want to put in the time or effort but simply wants to cash in on the fandom. Not surprising, though. I figured I'd have a good laugh if it was as bad as I expected, but I didn't even get that. I was rolling my eyes, instead, and ugh.
Will I continue to both one-click and read these things? Yes! Because I care enough about fandom to do that and over half the times I can laugh at how bad it is. (I'm probably going to reread my updates and laugh. It's pretty bad. No, seriously this is teen-wank level angst to boot. Emo-teen-love poetry is always pretty hilarious because it's so overblown and trite and this delivers with gusto.)
But right now, I'm in shock at just how terrible this was. I keep thinking 'oh, well, I've read that terribad Megatron's birthday story that escalates into the most weirdness ever and it can't possibly rival that much less outdo that story. I keep getting proven wrong, though. (And this is better than that story. Not by a lot, but just a little. I mean, given that is the lowest bar ever, but yay, you stepped over something buried a hundred feet in the ground, so good on you?)
"you both talk and make pay
I steal your heart away"
So... here's the deal and I'm going to explain it at great length here. I was going to put this in the review, but I will touch upon it there briefly as well.
Fanart and fan stories or fan poetry is fine with me. When it's this terrible and is up for - I presume - a profit, I get pretty mad. It's free now and I nabbed it for free, but, yeah, this is awful. I've spoken to people who did, say, Spider-Man shirts and at least with something like that - something licensed - you pay for the privilege. Which means that since you're paying, you are gong to do your damnedest to recover that cost instead of throwing together this string of words and calling it poetry and selling it under the Suicide Squad flag. (By the way, nothing screams this fandom to me. It's pretty general poetry and just plain bad poetry.)
Remember the Deadpool 101 book? I was pretty mad: it was unedited - or at least poorly edited - and had factual errors. It was thrown together, using far too many images to be fair use for something on sale. My full review is here. Yes, I got that when it was free, too, but it was something that I had held off on until it was free because, well, because of books like this. Because of what it turned out to be. It was cashing in on something popular, bypassing license fees or any quality control, and just shoving off the worst possible thing into the great unknown. I'm protective about my fandoms, and I've adopted Suicide Squad as my most recent fandom.
So, yes, I also looked at this and was like 1% intrigued 99% sure - based on past experience - that this would be utter bullshit. It surprised me in that it was more of a flaming train wreck than expected.
"My body lust for your rainbow
And now I am needing you"
Terrible and redundant. I love that this book doesn't settle for just terrible, though. It's like how can I make it trite, or confusing, or redundant, too? I also have no fucking clue on the fist line, but the lust makes it pretty clear not only that you need but that it's a sexual need. For Harley's rainbow, I guess.
This book is four pages, my review will be just about as long and scathing as all get out. Fair warning.
"My heart bleeds red
Your soul cries blue"
It's so trite! I feel like I'm reading what I might have written when I was like twelve, angsty and went 'other people can write poetry, so how hard can it be?'
"Deadshot laughed. 'You see, Flag, it's just like I said. You're as crazy as me.' He turned to find Harley grinning at him like the maniac she was. She blew him a provocative kiss.
'Back at you, princess.'"
I have to track that run down now.
It should be here by Friday and I'm super excited! Remember when I said I had a scary, scary, shiny, new obsession?
I'm in it for Deadshot. I didn't want to pay full price, but it was over half off on Amazon, so just a tad over twenty. I can live with that!
Yaaaay! I wasn't that into behind the scenes books, but I've been loving them lately. So. Yay, more Deadshot! I think I kinda want to own the rest of the original Suicide Squad series, so I'm going to hold off and wait to buy more of those. That time can be used for Halloween bingo - and two months gives me some time to save up a bit - and it'll give me time to do Halloween Bingo and catch up on my Comixology backlog.
Lesse if my resolve holds out that long. Must. Want to use these further volumes for bingo!
A lot of fun. Some scenes weren't in the movie, so bonus. Love seeing Floyd and Zoe in here, too! I told you it was a new character obsession. I warned y'all! I picked this up and read it on the beach because it was too windy for comics.
Because, jeez, Bloodshot's all like 'Kay was my soulmate! Kay was my true love!'
He literally got sent to protect her and knew her for like an hour before she died. Whuuuuut? Also, weird. Kay is the newest Geomancer, a force for nature. Like all he others before her, a Big Bad - the one the Eternal Warrior can never beat - is supposed to kill her.
Everyone in the Valiant universe rallies to help save her. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Except that it's the slow build up of the Eternal Warrior's desperation, the revelation of his past, and the surprisingly charming - given how quick it is - true love story between Kay and Bloodshot.
Yay, so awkward. But she calls him out on his bullshit, and he's her white knight. Again, literally, as he's alabaster. It's a lot more fun than it sounds, although I don't know if this would be good for someone not familiar with the characters already. It's probably a lot more fun if you know them, but that wasn't a problem for me.
This is a new fairy tale, with those same bizarre, surreal, even disturbing aspects, and yet also that childlike wonder. I didn't read this for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got around to this: it's fun, it's charming, and it's about a girl who speaks machine.
Just absolutely fantastic.
Except that there's so much more to this. Although the main storyline had action and twists, I found I preferred the side stories at the end. Don't get me wrong: the first story moves along, and is compelling, and, yeah, the ragtag bunch of humans clearly care for each other.
But there was so much more warmth and heart in the side stories, particularly the one where a girl, Rosemary, fixes a robot she ends up naming Bot-Bot. Without sacrificing on the action or twists, this created a story in which I felt the most emotionally connected to the characters, where I cared most about what happened to them. It was horrific and yet adorable all at the same time.
In otherwise, I loved this.
I have a shiny new obsession! And I'd all be like 'YOU'LL NEVER GUESS!' but I mean, that would be laughable. Deadshot. It's Deadshot. I'm not subtle about these things, at all. And overtime I read this after seeing the movie, I kept replacing white-Floyd Lawton with Will Smith. For real. Because Smith nailed it.
Which I know has nothing to do with this graphic novel, except... it does. He's the reason I pushed through the tedious origin story - and I keep saying that because it was so, so boring. Like I regret not skipping it boring.
Which is a shame, because the rest of this is compelling. It's not only about turning villains into 'heroes' - or trying to use them that way temporarily - but there are a lot of questions about this. Is it politically feasible? Well, yes, only if you disavow them if shit hits the fan. Is it ethical? I suppose the use of psychiatrists is supposed to make it seem, at least, ethical, although I suspect it's also a way to see if any members will betray them. One does anyway, and then they get betrayed - like al of them, including Amanda Waller, the government insider who set all this up. There are interpersonal issues, and there are control issues. In other words, there's a lot more going on than just 'oh, we'll explode your arms off if you don't do what we tell you!'
Between the missions they go on, the psychiatric issues, and the political issues, I was fascinated by it all. I just blew through this. I came for Deadshot, I stayed for, well, everything.
I do have screenshots, of, um, Deadshot. It's not like I didn't warn you, though. Because just when I thought he couldn't get more unhealthy when it came to women and relationships, this happens:
He's explaining to his psychiatrist why he only pays for sex. Then goes on to say 'all women are pros.' Even his psychiatrist, who is falling in love with him, because she's paid to care about him. Because apparently psychiatry is more like hooking than I thought?
She slaps him, and then this happens:
And I just have to put it out there, this is a really, really bad thing. Because he wasn't all fucked up when it came to women and relationships, amiright?
One of the worst psychiatrists ever. But part of me wants to know if this continues or what, so it's a large part of why I'm eyeing the following issues on Comixology or really Amazon since cheaper there. (I didn't bother checking any other sites, since I need to be able to read them on my laptop if I'm having a day where I can't do the phone.)