I'm a well read technosexual who's bluntly honest about all things, although I try to be most honest about myself.
Fellow student (FS): I'm dropping this class and no longer need you to tutor me.
FS: *decides to retake course sends professor that I'm not involved with an e-mail saying I'll tutor her during winter break assuming she can get extensions, and then CCs me. *
Sends e-mail to FS, saying, um, no, I will not have the time in winter break.
I didn't tell her, but rooms will be cleaned, laundry will be done, shifts will be worked, and comics will be read. I'm toying with the idea of taking a very short - two or three day - vacation somewhere, either in state or just day tripping one or two days, or going out of state - but somewhere I could drive to. In which case, yup, I will really not be available.
I don't understand how people think they can volunteer my time like that? Not to mention, I rescheduled to accommodate her tutoring, then when I realized I'd have the free time, and I'm not doing it again. I set down hard and fast rules: she'll need to hire someone during winter break. I'm only available two half hours a week, when I'm already going to be on campus between things, and I may be half-focused on my own work. I refuse to keep accommodating someone who doesn't tell me what they're doing and who also changes plans on me constantly.
I already went through hell with a tutorial - and it keeps coming back to bite me on my butt. I'm done just passively nodding and going along with this, though, but speaking up for myself makes me anxious like nothing else.
So, on a semi-related note, I bought like twenty clearance blind boxes to get an adorable Vision pop funko keychain. I think Imma turn him into a necklace. For fun. Because I neeeeeed this right now!
But the grocery store is all out of orange extract, so they're gonna be lemon.
I couldn't build the effing pi, so yay -_-
And I forgot to tell you guys, I told her about my brother and me calling him a bitch about the apartment and told her all the reasons this made me mad.
I almost got a round of applause, even with the naughty language.
And she said 'the apartment for the room is a steal on his part.' He wants to talk to her about this, and it will go... less well.
There's just so much pressure for artists to not play in Israel! I wanted to support him, even if I'm not a fanatic fan. But my mom offered to buy me tickets to support him going to Israel, even though I told her I couldn't go. She said she'd buy them anyway, but I'm not sure tickets are still available. A month or so ago, only around ten percent of each two shows were available.
Not only did I manage two days of classes (Tuesday is 11-2, and 3-6, with Mondays 11-2, I believe) but I also start late January. I thought I only got a two week break, but it's going to be a month, a little over actually. I'll clean, I'll learn more about baking and programming, and I am going to read comics like crazy.
I'm super excited: I'm taking a programming class that'll learn me Python - sighs, I always wanted a python, but a monster one that was like 100 feet long like in all those monster movies that didn't scare me off at all, a special libraries class, and an introduction to archiving class with a internship.
So, we'll see how that goes. I'm pretty much acing two of my classes, and one doesn't have the grades online, and doesn't seem to do grading online as in 'this is how you're doing - but I think I'm doing fairly well if not acing this class as well.
I think I'm more excited about next semester. I got to choose classes more so instead of doing required courses, and while I love all my required courses, including technology which I thought I wouldn't love as much as I do, I'm excited about having more choices, and less required classes. Most of my other required classes are choices between two and need the introduction to archiving under my belt, so there's that.
That being said, I'm more excited because I'm less nervous. I know I can do this. I went through a trauma, I might have been disowned by my brother for not giving him everything he wants - because he has not talked to me and said we had irrevocable differences since he was supposed to give me the apartment and didn't, and so I told him he can't have my room anymore* - and I had to do a group project alone. I'm still hemorrhaging time on that, and am still feeling behind on my homework, but I'm getting back on track - and I just kept on trucking. I'm happy with myself.
Even if I did freakout when I finally processed that traumatic event, leading to the potential disowning. (I had nightmares last night, about my brother's wedding and that coming up and what would happen with me, and also about getting fired from my job, tut yeah, that all came from the trauma-induced freakout to be honest.)
I'm still going, I'm still working, and I'm still acing my classes, and I couldn't have even a couple years ago.
I wish, I dearly wish, I had time to read for myself. I picked up a couple free audiobooks from school - they have a cart with them - and I'm listening to those, and I'm adding in some Batman in French when I have time, but, yeah, ugh, I'm like two issues behind or so on most of my comics. Some are closer to five :/ I'm looking forward to a nice break. I might work more, and I might not depending on how much cleaning I have to do, to be honest.
Guests of honor next year are Ken Liu and Nisi Shawl. Haven't bought books by either of them, but I'm debating what to read by one or both.
Because, I signed up at readercon.org.
I'm going against next year, which I know is a huge, massive shock :P
I have to:
read two books - for school, of course
see Thor with a friend*
Listen to a tutorial on Open Library
Put together my Punisher night light**
Start putting together my raspberry pi for school. It's a whole long tutorial thing, but my parents bought me a pi for school, so that's fun! I'm using a sense hat which my parents also bought me to make it into a magic eight ball. And, yeah, my mom gets maaaad if I pay for anything that's purely for school, like books and new computers apparently and other stuff because she wants to pay for it.
*semi-optional, but I need the stress relief! I've yet to see the new Blade Runner, but Thor takes precedence, y'all.
**optional, if this doesn't get done today, I'm good, and I can do it tomorrow! But yeah I printed this with a 3-D printer
Yup, I'm gonna flirt with the Autobots AND the Decepticons. Deal with it, everyone else at N.E.S.T.
Don't even ask where this came from, since I was doing other searches because I'm not into the Bay-verse anymore. I still have the first movie where I ship Sam and Bee hard, though...
No, you can't read this - unless you get your hands on the French version, and can, y'know, read French. Or alternately know how to read Japanese.
I just happen to know French. My parents asked me what I wanted, and I said 'Batman comics in French.' Because I've been jonesing to read more Batman. They got me a Dini/Timm Batman Adventures tome that is huge, and I am incredibly excited about, but it was a bit too huge to contemplate while finals :/
They also got me a collection that is unlike most American graphic novels: most are one title, issues 1-4/6/whatever. Some French BDs - graphic novels - are like this, and some...are not. I got one with a couple of the King issues that I've already read - but not in French! - and some Detective issues, and some Nightwing issues. So I'm super excited about that.
The small manga sized collection, however, fit best into my busy schedule. I plan on writing a lovely note to my uncle, who loves BDs as much as I do, so he always sends something my way when my parents visit. He got me this, and I love it: I mean, I side eye huge chunks of how this was drawn, but the ultra feminine male Joker is just doing it for me. The Gary Stu main character isn't doing it for me, either in a 'I love it' or a 'I hate it' way, but I didn't get super excited until I saw girly-guy Joker. He's fucked up in pretty much the same way as normal Joker, but I kinda dig how he's drawn. About a third of the way through this, and I'm going to put it aside for a week or so as I catch up on homework. I may read it in small chunks if I can, but we'll see.
For now, I'm going to play some online games for a minute or two, then sleep off the anxiety of my tutorial tomorrow.
We're really just one disfiguring accident away, and Primus please, don't let that happen. I'm waiting to see if she'll - yes, she - will wake up so I don't have to go in and give my tutorial alone without knowing what she'll do.
But, I'm pretty sure she blames me for everything right now, just like my brother, so there's that...
I'm kinda really happy with the way this came out, so there's that. Also, I get to play with Black Bolt for school :D
Why bother trying?
I've just conceded. I don't get the one teeny-tiny room either, despite there being other options for him. They would be too hard for him...
I told my brother that he was no longer welcome to use my room in the summer house. I don't get to watch my TV on my laptop when he does, and the room - the teeeeeny tiny room - was built specifically for me. When my parents first bought the house, I wasn't old enough to drive and they refused to leave me alone during the summer.
I had no interest in the beach or sailing at that point: I just wanted to listen to TV while I read during the summer. The sound of the TV drove them nuts. They ended up planning on the room before I really had a say. They could see I was miserable, and this was a way for me to be less miserable. It's always been my room. Always. It's the place I feel most comfortable sleeping in there, and I give it up all the time: when they have couples over as company, when my brother sleeps over when he's on call, when he has his fiancé over.
I told him it was MY room, and it was built for me, and I was sick of giving it up. It meant I didn't have access to the internet out in the shed, and if I stay downstairs, my sister usually stays up until one and I wake up when she comes in.
I not only kicked him out, but I told him to get his shit out of my drawer. I feel humiliated because he acted cool when he wasn't and I feel like I made a fool out of myself by having wrong information when he could have just been honest, or listened and responded to the words I was actually saying.
He went on to say that when it was uncomfortable, when my sister and his fiancé were around... Maybe the room?
I told him HE could use the shed with his fiancé. Why am I the one always giving up my shit? What if I want to move some of my comics in there? It's my room, 100% of the time. I'll give it up for my parents friends, but I feel utterly shaken by shit that went down today and if he's not going to share his apartment, why the fuck should I share my one teeny, tiny room? I needed a win. He agreed. And I got so mad when he mad the 'but when' case. So what? I get to feel uncomfortable? They built that room for ME. ME. I don't normally mind sharing; usually I'm quite graceful about it. I'm sick of always being the nice one who feels less comfortable, though. This time, HE can feel a little uncomfortable. I told him as long as my parents said, he was welcome to stay there, but NOT in my room. No. This time, I'm going to win one. This time, I get to keep my room. I want it, I like it, and yeah, it's a big deal for me to move on his whims and schedules. Why don't I get this one thing?
I feel like MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE. But it is mine. And I want to keep it now. He was like 'well, we can never come again.' And I was like 'I don't care if you sleep on the couch or shed, but it's not gonna be in my room. Even when I'm not there, mine.'
So, that's gonna be nice, having my room to myself again. I mean, not what I really wanted, sure, but I'm gonna take this consolation prize. It took a lot for me to speak up and to actually assert myself that this was mine.
Because MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE. I feel oddly elated at saying it. I feel good. And if I'm really lucky I won't see any horrible accidents anymore, which to be honest, was, yeah, part of the reason I wanted to move in the first place.
And if he dares upset my mom by telling her I wanted to move, I'm going to say I changed my mind because comics. Where do I put mine, and I can't get mine from MY store here.
Yeah. MINE. Mine. Mine, mine, mine.
It's my local Newbury, and I love it, and I was angsting about it, and I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore...
PS: Saying mine is starting to feel really right. Not in an 'everything is mine' way, but why shouldn't I own what is mine, and not feel bad about saying 'no' to people who want access? Why shouldn't I feel good about having a store I love and feel comfortable in? Why not?
Me: I'm moving in with you, bro!
My brother: Um, well, you'll have to get a new apartment.
Me: ... I told you this was probably happening, and you were cool with it. WTH?
My brother: We'll talk about it.
Me: Yeah, I'll be on the couch, dude.
We all end the call and I get frustrated.
So basically I don't want to upset my mother so it's not happening. I told him to keep the fucking apartment.
So I'm probably moving to Boston next semester. It's going to be into an apartment that my brother and his fiancé are living in, but that my parents own, and my mother has offered to boot him and her out if I want to go there for school.
I'm going to offer to crash on the couch, which pulls out into a bed, though. We'll see.
Four hours of solo work and I'm done with my last-minute two-person project that I did on my lonesome.
I can't speak well in public, and I hate how my voice sounds recorded more than I hate myself speaking in public. It's a Youtube tutorial on how to use iMovie and Youtube, and I'm pretty proud of how it came out because of the circumstances.
I need to watch it again and make sure it's okay, and then I need to upload it to Youtube - it'll be unlisted, thank you very much - and then I need to upload it to Moodle for my class. But it's like 99% percent done and YAY! I can read later today and get my lab done on Sunday or Monday and I'm all set for this week.
Man, I need a nap though -_-
I found appliance porn.
Below are several of my favorite titles:
And you have to love that this is by Agay Oldtime.
I'm seriously tempted by the first two, maybe three, because holy shit working on a two person project alone last minute is stressful. Appliance porn. I'd given up hope after reading about it in time-travling dinoporn - I had to read this review to remember it - and just stopped looking.
I really need a good, and redonkulous, hate read right now... No appliance porn is free, but appliance porn, y'all, it exists!